I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
