carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
