we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
