Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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