the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
