i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
