He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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