Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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