We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
