Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize