so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
