Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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