Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
