# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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