Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I have already put on my inside pants.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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