Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
