What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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