Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
