Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
