haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
