I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
