1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
