Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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