please come you make the beer taste better
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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