my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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