You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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