woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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