if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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