whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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