So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
