He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize