butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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