The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
