I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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