Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
