OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
