i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
