one two three fourrrrnication!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
