I am spending my child support on dildos
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
