I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
