I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
