So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
