we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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