No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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