I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
