you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
