I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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