plz talk dirty to me
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We need to rekindle our bromance
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
