bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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