I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
