Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
