If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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