well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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