His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This baby is an asshole
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize