Porn is love you can see.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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