I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
