Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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