sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize