Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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