her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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