dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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