i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize