Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
