You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
