I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
