Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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