I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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