I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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